All posts tagged: exercise

How To Train Your Waist

Waist trainers. Kim wears them, which is, depending on how you look at the world, either an amazing endorsement or absolute deterrent to ever buying one for yourself. No one really knows why they’ve been re-branded as waist trainers when they are in fact just corsets, but there we are. In the event you’re pro-waist training in general, but anti-modern day corsets, here are some alternative ways to Train Your Waist. 1. Send your waist away to school. 2. Hire a waist nanny- preferably from one of the joyless European countries. 3. Be strict but kind to your waist so it knows it can rely on you but mustn’t ever cross you. 4. Don’t send mixed signals- ensure clear punishments follow transgressions and good deeds are rewarded. 5. Ensure your waist gets plenty of sleep and green vegetables. 6. Try avoidance therapy: when your waist gets too unruly, ignore it and/or avoid it until it stops wailing. 7. Utilise corporal punishment in small, unexpected doses. 8. Never shout at your waist; it only confuses it …

Things Runners Say and All the Things Non-Runners Really Want To Say In Return

Runner: The first 20 minutes is the hardest. Non-Runner: Oh? And after that it’s just ice-cream on a hot day, is it? Just jingle bells and wrapping paper, right? Just napping on a beach and hamburgers, right? Right. Runner: Running is my me-time. I can get away from everything and just think. Non-Runner: Why can’t you do that alone in your room? Also, do you do every other activity with other people? Do you take a poo with other people? Why can’t pooing be your me-time? Runner: Nothing beats that runner’s high. Non-Runner: I don’t know, I imagine heroin gives it a run for its money. Haha. Did you see what I did there? It was a pun. A running pun. A runpun. Wow, did your endorphins also steal away your sense of humor. Runner: My hamstrings feel a little tight because I went for a PB on my 10k route this morning. Non-Runner: I know what all those words mean individually, and I can guess at what they mean put together, but honestly I …