All posts tagged: advice

How To Be A Person: A Non-Exhaustive List of How To Not Be That Person.

“Now, you did good today, I’m just saying that there’s a way to be a person.” – Leo McGarry, The West Wing S1E22 1. No one ever wants to hear about your dreams. 2. Only gossip about people you genuinely do not like for real reasons. So, don’t gossip about nice people you are simply jealous of because you will eventually feel like shit. But actual dicks are fair game. Have at them. 3. Tip, always. 4. Use your inside voice, no matter how cross you are. Find within yourself a terrifyingly stern voice of medium volume and employ it at will. Consider also incorporating the whispered horror of Hannibal Lecter. This will always be scarier and more effective than shouting. 5. Drive like someone you loved very much died in a car accident. It may seem morbid, but it’s a lot of people’s actual truth, and every time you suddenly change lanes without indicating, or speed like an idiot, they are looking at you and wishing you had died instead. You don’t need that …