A Bit of Pretty, Sentence First Verdict Afterwards
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The Friday Fun: 14 August 2015

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.

A time to live, and a time to die. A time to watch Netflix in your pyjamas and a time to wear incredibly painful heels for no sensible reason. A time to do yoga whilst contemplating the infinite and a time to grind your bottom into the crotch of a reasonably attractive guy you’ve only just met. A time to catch up on your personal grooming and a time to forget the meaning of make-up. A time to drive a bit too fast down the highway and a time to kiss your partner until they laugh. A time to eat bad food and a time to drink good wine. A time to embrace your loved ones and a time to hang out with your glamorous frenemies. A time to hug small children and a time to fervently thank God you don’t have any yet. A time to appreciate morning quiet and a time to revel in evening frivolities.

All things have their time, and we must never forget, heart holders, that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labour, for it is the gift of God.

Let us hold hands therefore, and be merry, for today is Friday and the weekend beckons.

Here are a few things to help you get into it.

1.This Pajiba think piece by Joe Starr that does what a think piece is meant to do, namely encourage you to think about something without (a) using the word ‘problematic’ and (b) making you feel guilty for not choosing to exist in a constant state of affront. It’s about why all the Fantastic Four films have been awful- which, I’m sure you’ll agree is a question we all need an answer to. Read the entire thing here, enjoy the extract below:

So I think we can all agree that we’ve got four terrible Fantastic Four movies under our belts. Everyone on board? Yay! These movies are all unwatchable for different reasons: bad effects, terrible writing, stupid villains, nonsensical plots … But I believe there is one thing holding back a potentially great Fantastic Four movie that every one of these films shares.

Reed Richards is an asshole.

That’s it. He’s not a nice guy, or even pleasant. You could make an argument that he’s often not even very moral. Reed is kind of a jerk, and an all around piece. Stop trying to make Mr. Fantastic seem so, well, one dimensionally fantastic.

Note that I didn’t say he’s a bad guy. He’s not — Reed Richards is, at the end of the day, a good guy, in the comic book sense of the word, but that doesn’t mean he’s a good man.

Marvel likes to define its anti heroes as being guys like The Punisher or Wolverine. Dudes that murder criminals and bad guys with guns and claws but it’s OK because they’re noble, or have their reasons, and look really cool when they smoke. And that’s super boring, and super restrictive to storytelling.

punisher.jpg

2. This Taylor Swift parody of Bad Blood, made with a great deal of effort and for a good cause. The singing is gleefully atrocious, but it’s incredibly smart and funny, and I personally am thrilled that people have finally seen the obvious connection between that song and periods.

3. This photo of Serena, for obvious reasons.

serena

4. The video for Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend, because someone just reminded me about it on Twitter and I thereafter found out that Richard Ayoade, AKA Should-Be-Mine-But-He’s-Playing, directed it. Also, it’s just fun.

4b. This photo of Richard Ayoade, to remind any bearded, afro’d, beautiful mixed race men of intelligence who may be reading this to  (a) keep on keeping on and/or (b) call me. Look at that chin dimple. Look at it.

richard ayoade

5. Finally, this surprisingly amusing piece in Glamour by Stephen Colbert on feminism. I am usually only marginally entertained by Colbert, but for some reason this really made me laugh. Full piece here, excerpt below:

And mine is not the only field that lacks enough women. Where are all the lady blacksmiths? What about the bait-and-tackle shopkeepers, pool maintenance professionals, building superintendents, or CEOs of Fortune 500 companies? Why are all those minions shaped like tiny phalluses? Why did Mad Max get top billing in Fury Road when he was essentially just a grunting tripod for Charlize Theron’s rifle? Of course, historically, our thriving U.S. president industry definitely skews male—but that could change in 2016. Carly Fiorina, all eyes are on you.

Even when women do succeed, their stories often aren’t told. Did you know that the first computer, ENIAC, was programmed by six female mathematicians? If it weren’t for those pioneering women, we might not have computers at all. And then how would people read empowering listicles like “20 Hot Actresses Without Makeup! (#5 Will Make You Question God!)”?

Featured image this week is of a perfect white bedroom with a door opening out onto what I’ve imagined is a sophisticated seaside town. Why? Well, it’s pretty isn’t it? You’re welcome.

GO FORTH AND FROLIC

*photos from The Sunday Times, The New York Magazine and here.

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