Uncommon Nonsense
Comments 2

You Don’t Love Tom Cruise As Much As You Should

Look, I should strictly leave this for the Friday Fun, because honestly, this is the most Friday Fun thing I’ve come across since I started the series, but I can’t. I must share it with you right now.

Here are the bare bones: Tom Cruise. Lip Sync Battle. The Weeknd. The Righteous Brothers.

Here is the reality: at some point, we all decided Tom Cruise was weird, and we thought that was a good enough reason to stop enjoying his excellentness, as if weirdness was not a pre-requisite for real celebrities. Since when did movie stars have to be normal? Why would we want them to be? What would be the point of them? Would Tilda Swinton even have a career?! So he believes spaceships can save your immortal soul- who gives a shit? He is responsible for some of the best cinematic moments ever recorded on film, has the crinkliest, twinkliest eyes known to man, commits to an action-movie run like no one else, and is always, always entertaining. The one real criticism I will accept is the Katie Holmes debacle, but the truth is we started being weirded out by him way before that. Also, in a world where too many ‘beloved’ celebrities are either unbelievably arrogant and/or talentless and/or vapid and/or turn out to be rapists, I’m here for Cruise until someone gives me a reason other than ‘he’s weird’.

Anyway, back to the clip. It’s from Fallon’s LipSync battle series, and Cruise does a real favourite of mine “the song of the summer”,  Can’t Feel My Face by the Weeknd, in addition to some random old-school rock song that came out before I existed but he kills both of them. Kills. Slays. Destroys. He’s a pint-sized, be-suited, shiny haired, fun dynamo and if you don’t watch this and find yourself irreparably charmed, I can’t help you.  What are you saying? What’s that? Speak up! Couch-jumping? Guys, listen up- and this is important- the couch jumping thing? Never. Actually. Happened.

We don’t deserve Tom Cruise. We haven’t earned him, we could never earn him. He has been given to us by grace, and we should do no more than love him and be thankful.

Watch, and rejoice. For you live in a world that has Tom Cruise in it, and that’s a glorious, beautiful thing.

Pro Tip: Skip past Fallon being Fallon.

2 Comments

  1. Despite his weirdness and his ability to somehow convince directors to put these in every movie;
    1. a motorcycle scene
    2. an extended scene with him ruining
    3. Him hanging by the breath of rope of a high structure
    a
    He is a top class actor. Not cos of his wide range but just the ability to pick out great scripts and directors and still make them them profitable and not blockbuster. Wont be unfair to call him this generation John Wayne.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know you meant to type “an extended scene with him running” but honestly, extended “ruining” scenes is legitimately funnier + I’d pay to watch him do that for 90 minutes.

    Like

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