Uncommon Nonsense
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The Open-To-Discussion List of The World’s Best Movie Kisses Of All Time

Breakfast At Tiffany’s: Audrey Hepburn/ George Peppard A perfect go-to movie for when life is not being as fabulous as it ought to be; my  justifiable hatred of cats notwithstanding. I keep wishing Holly never finds Cat but my sadistic tendencies are satisfied by how thoroughly squashed Cat gets when Holly and Paul finally lock lips. Also, isn’t that such a perfectly cut trench coat? Also, surely only Audrey Hepburn can make  pigtails chic? Also, don’t you love Moon River? Also, isn’t having a nice snog the best possible thing that could happen to you in an alley?

Pride and Prejudice: Kiera Knightley/Matthew McFayden. Now, now before you Kiera haters/Pride and Prejudice purists attack me with pitchforks, let me make some things very clear. Firstly, I too find KK’s permapout immensely irritating and I can’t bear  the way she bites off each word as if it’s caused her grievous bodily harm. Secondly, the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice was a molehill to the mountain of brilliance that was the BBC three part version with Colin Firth. I know this, you know this, it has now become such an indisputable fact as to have formed part of the makeup of the universe.

But I have included this clip for three reasons:

1. This scene is set to a truly beautiful piece of music; and

2. I adore Matthew McFayden and so should you- go watch Spooks Season 1 then come back and agree with me;  and

3. I think Pride and Prejudice is one of my favourite love stories of all time. I have read and re-read the book to tattered shreds. So when they kiss in these clips, it’s not Kiera and Matthew kissing- it’s Elizabeth and Mr Darcy and that is quite, quite perfect.

Fromage Warning: this scene is pretty cheesy and the only embeddable clip I could find was from some kid’s school project so start from 00:23 for the good bits.

My Girl: Macaulay Culkin/Anna Chumskly. My first kiss was wet and horrible and I spent the whole time trying desperately to remember whether I’d remembered to brush my tongue that morning or not. The classic first kiss, the first kiss all other first kisses wish they were.

An Officer And A Gentleman: Richard Gere/Paula Pokrifki.   So, OF COURSE  Richard Gere was going to make the list.  This one edges out the fire escape kiss in Pretty Woman because Up Where We Belong is a better song.  But also consider: the uniform, the envious onlooking audience of factory workers. This scene (probably) birthed every woman’s obsession with men in uniform and single-handedly founded the uniformed stripper industry.  This clip is shorter than I would like- you don’t get to see Richard Gere walking into the factory in all his snowy white silver fox glory- but it should satisfy those of you who’ve seen the film and encourage those of you who haven’t to get involved.

Honourable mention has to go to the final scene in The Return of the King when Arwen (Liv Tyler) and Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) suck face with enough passion to fell an orc army. I couldn’t find an embeddable video so you’ll have to wander over to youtube to watch it. It’s not so much the kiss itself that makes it one of my favourites, but the subtext. Arwen has given up immortality for Aragorn, Aragorn can’t quite believe it, he’s been fighting this war for decades and had resigned himself, at the end, to ruling without her etc etc. Then there she is, fragrant and pointy eared, randomly hiding behind the world’s largest standard and wearing some cherry lip balm. Who could ask for a better ending? Also, fellow LOTR-ians will recall the fact that none of this love story was played out on screen, as it were, in the LOTR books but was plucked from other Tolkien works to become one of the best storylines in the film series….

The Notebook/MTV VMAs: Ryan Gosling/Rachel McAdams. Yes, yes, women are still into Ryan Gosling. It was tough to choose between the actual kiss in The Notebook or their recreated version at the MTV VMAs. I chose the latter, mainly because Gosling isn’t stuck being Noah Aw-Shucks Calhoun and is his usual, unutterably cool self.


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